Bern's Steak House

Ok, so the reason Fred and I flew to sunny, crazy Florida was to eat at Bern's Steak House. Fred described his memories of the restaurant to me and it sounded like THE place to eat steak. Seemed like a good idea so celebrate our birthdays in a big way because it's a big birthday for Fred :)

A family owned restaurant that includes it's own organic garden, cattle ranch, huge wine collection sounds wonderful doesn't it? To be a waiter there, one must apprentice for 5 years. As a diner one can spend 4 hours eating delicious steak, touring the kitchen and the wine cellar (the 100,000 bottle collection was impressive), and enjoying a private desert room upstairs. This made it all sound worth a trip to Florida.

Covered valet parking, replicas of sculptures made by famous artists, and a two story foyer were three pieces of the amazingly interesting decor. Other awesome adornments included a blood red carpet, school building ceilings, fold up tables and cheap antique chairs. Those things you will never find at a pricey restaurant in Asheville I felt confused. I'm thinking, is this for real? We are about to spend a couple hundred dollars in a restaurant with folding tables in a Stephen King's Shining-like atmosphere? It didn't even qualify as kitsch.

Not to mention that every other person dining there seemed to be there just to say they had been there. I was one of them! yikes. I had a great view of two teenagers that were either on their way to prom or very over dressed. And who brings their KIDS to a restaurant like this? Floridians.

Well, our server was very good. We tasted two wines before settling on a champagne to drink with our appetizers. We had a red with the steak that was fabulous. The appetizers were good, but not nearly as memorable as the tuna with wasabe appetizer we had at Snapper's the next night. The steak was steak. I'm not qualified to judge that. The sides that came with the steak ... not so good. And substituting other sides for the ones you don't want requires paying extra. I'm sorry though ... onion rings and onion soup???? Are you trying to kill me?

The real treat was the desert room. It felt private, had it's own music system, and also included very good service. I had cheesecake, chocolate ice cream with cocoa nibs, and fresh blackberries. Fred ordered us a flight of Taylor's port. We shared the 10 yr, 20 yr, 30 yr, and 40 yr. Nice. That was yummy. As it gets older it gets very smooth and yummy. Plus, it is cool to drink something that's older than I am.

To top off the night I got a mint coffee drink with some kind of alcohol in it. And that coffee drink put me over edge. 2 a.m. was not pretty.

So, my advice is: don't travel to Florida to find good food. Especially when you live in a city FULL of good food.

It's been a while ...

So, at least I know there's one person out there that notices when I don't post for a while :)

The random danger bug became the focal point of my Summer. When I wasn't dusting shelves at the Gallery of the Mountains or visiting my friend in Woodfin, I diligently searched for meals for my new pet wheel bug. He is quite well, and for those who do not look at my flickr page often, I have a plethora of photos of the wheel bug enjoying his meals.

I caught him as an adolescent and he has since molted once. I came home to find him 85 % outside of his old skin, and bright orange. I spoke with him about the inappropriateness of his little naked pink butt after I shot some nudes of him.

The other highlight of my Summer was taking a trip to Tampa. It was too short, and involved too much travel time, but seeing as how I took it with my favorite man, it was all worth it.

The highlights were 1. sitting in a cabana near the pool, drinking pina coladas, and watching the olympics on the private T.V. 2. Taking first class flights from ATL to Charlotte. We drank Jack and Cokes in the 15 minutes it took for the plane to fill up, ate milano cookies instead of "gourmet pretzels", and the flight attendant was very entertaining. Over the radio he said his name was Shaggy and that the other assistants were Velma and Daphne. He also said that in the event of an emergency we should put our own oxygen masks on before assisting a child, another customer, or a customer acting like a child. Lastly he made us laugh when he pointed out that "there may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there only 7 exits on the plane." That experience (and sitting next to my honey on the plane (the whole reason we upgraded to first class)) really made up for the time it took to get to and from ATL. 3. Driving around in a lipstick red mustang with a cup holder that lights up in different colors. 4. The food. We ate at two fantastic restaurants. Bern's Steak House is the reason we went to Tampa, and we also ate at Snapper's ( I think), which had awesome crab legs, and a tuna appetizer.

More about Bern's in another blog ... this is already getting lengthy :)